Why do I travel?

I don’t know why traveling for me is such a lifeline, when there are people who are content to never leave their homes. I guess we do come in all different shapes and sizes, including how big of a box we are content to live in. Not that there is anything wrong with certain type of boxes, they provide content and contentment, and  I guess we cannot all be trampling and trotting the globe at the same time, or we might spin out of our orbit.

But what is this gnawing in my chest that yearns to see ever-changing landscapes through my window, to lunge myself into the unknown and be absolutely bewildered by diversity of this planet.

Sometimes I get a bit depressed when I realize, that I might not be able to go everywhere in my lifetime, that there are places and experiences that I will never see or live through, I think that gets me even more than the prospect of not finding a true love.

My saving grace is trying to imagine that this is not our only life, that we contain multitudes, over time and space, we stretch back into the past and forward into the future, and in that way we are never alone, we are never separated, and we are never not engaged with the act of living. 

I believe that there is me who is climbing Himalayas and me who is sitting with shamans deep in the Amazonian jungles.

Maybe I miss it all so, because another version of me, someplace over the time, is doing exactly that and I feel the yearning because I live with this disconnect between realities, unable to grasp infinity.

Maybe that is how the content people live - maybe they know that some other version of them is traveling and enriching their worldview, therefore they can be still for this life, tend to their space, growing watermelons in Sardinia and never going to mainland in their 80 years on this earth.

So here is a question - what if we could enter these states of knowing, that allows us to see the past and future as continuous flow, would we feel contentment then, or is this not knowing necessary to crack our hearts open so we have something that moves us forwards?

I just know what I know, and what feels true in my heart, and that is - that for me personally I still need to go on my hero’s journey and allow that fire in my heart to ignite the way forward.

And maybe one day it will be quenched and I will be content to watch one tree grow outside my window for the rest of my life.