5 Things To Be Aware Of When You Are Living In A Conscious Community

My journey has been a pretty special one, where at this point in my life I find myself in a small village in Spain, sharing a house with 3 other women!

It started when the pair of us Latvian women decided to drive towards the sun. We arrived in Spain and upon spending a day with our host, we felt that we are going to stay here longer, to the point where we are now co-creating a living space and plant-based organic food catering project.

Now there is another woman with us, so we are slowly growing our community, although there is this thing of finding space for all who’d love to join and help, but that’s a different story.

Today I wanted to touch upon a few lessons and observations I have made when adjusting to this new living situation and what to keep in mind when switching from individual thinking to community-based one.

Living in a community is definitely not for everyone, but it is so rewarding when you allow yourself to expand beyond your own needs and allow others into your space! I will probably need to do a separate post on benefits when living in a community. For now, here I will share some point that has come up for me.

1. Be ready to reevaluate your values and compromise

So you are with people you are sharing your living space with and you want to get along, you want this to be your home, a safe space where it is ok to share, express, and be seen fully as you are! To achieve that, you must be ready to sit down and discuss your values. It is important to really tune in and be truthful with your own set of values. Do you value communication and privacy, do you value routine and schedules or do you enjoy going with the flow, maybe you value silence and having your own space or maybe it is the action or stimulation. Are you ready to compromise and adjust and together carve out your values as a community? If your values are phony and not set in your own truth – that will show, so be ready to shed some old beliefs as well, because here you will be challenged to truly look into yourself and how you relate to the world.

2. Your identity and self-worth will be under duress

Along with shedding some old beliefs about your values, what you thought you are, will also be put under investigation. You’ll see yourself from different perspectives, you will see yourself, your triggers and fears, and guilt and worth mirrored back in the community you are in. There will be times when you think that you have no idea who you really are, what is your value and worth, why have you come here and what’s the purpose of it all. That’s great, although at the time it might hurt like bitch to have your ass handed back to you. After, if you are aware and willing to go deeper, you will see how attached you are to something like identity and how that attachment is stifling your expansion as a human being. You will have to answer questions like – What is my worth? Where am I playing small? How am I victimizing myself? What am I hiding behind in order to avoid responsibility for my own life? How my growth can impact those around me?

3. You will need to show up how you want others to show up for you

And that doesn’t mean that you always have to be nice, polite, and sweet, because, would you actually trust and respect someone like that if you feel that it is not their authentic self-expression? My observation is that you have to show up how you are and firstly really tap into what is happening within you and - be honest! Your deceit won’t fly for long, you will be caught and you will have to explain yourself. Most likely you won’t be aware yourself that your mode of reaction and communication is unconscious and therefore can be hurtful to others. So your task is to make the unconscious conscious so you can show up fully as you are. It means really starting to become aware of your triggers and programming and the games you play out unconsciously and how and if they are benefiting you when you are co-creating a conscious community.

4. Boundaries are for inviting more conscious relationship experience

One of the biggest realizations for me was that setting boundaries just means that you want to ensure that the other person in your life can be there for you. That you communicating those needs actually is an invitation and a sign of trust for people to be safe, seen, and understood in each other’s lives. It doesn’t mean that you are pushing anyone away or that you are not available – just the opposite! You know how and when you can be there for each other in the best way. So listen to others when they are expressing their boundaries and don’t take it personally if someone is not okay with you barging into their room after 10 pm.

5. Be ready to talk and listen, A LOT!

All this inner work requires a lot of communication with others. I find that I have a limit to my attention capacity and socialising capacity, which I need to communicate to others, so they understand that it is not that I am not interested in what they have to say, it’s just that I cannot process it all and give my full attention for extended periods of time. There I am discovering how to draw my own boundary. But it doesn’t mean that this is not going to change for me either. We are going through different energy cycles and periods in our lives and levels of opening up, therefore checking in with yourself and others is paramount! Although we are working on telepathic communication skills, until they are honed we will need to use our mouths and words to convey emotions and feelings, so sharpen your tongue and ears and carve out space for talks. :)

That's it for now.

I feel like there is so much inner growth happening in these 4 months spent here, that it is sometimes hard to keep track of everything and everyone and that's okay, I forgive myself for sometimes getting lost in it all. I know that I will take my time to fully become aware of these changes and patterns and writing stuff out has been a great catalyst and teacher for me to get to the essence of things and to see what still needs integration!

Beyond grateful for the inspiring ladies I get to share the house with and their openness and acceptance and creativity. I am learning a lot about relationships and responsibility.

Have you, my reader, lived in a community or communal space? How was it? What did you learn about yourself and others? Is there any point that you would like to add?

I truly enjoy creating conversations around various topics therefore I would love to hear from you too!

Until then...